"Singing a new song unto the Lord..."
  • Home & Blogs
    • Stan's LIFE blog
    • Stan's SONG-WRITING blog
  • Learn the Songs
    • Collection One Songs
    • Collection Two Songs
  • Store
    • Buy Songbooks & CDs
  • Other
    • Stan's Literary >
      • My FREE ebook: "27 Reasons I'm Glad I'm a Christian!" a BEAUTIFUL PDF download)
      • Christian Fantasy: Stan's book 'The Canticles of Au-Royalia'
    • Stan's Music >
      • Brooksong (old Music Site)
  • Contact

HymnCraft 101 #1: "He Wore Those Thorns For Me"

11/12/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
He Wore Those Thorns For Me

1. He wore those thorns for me, upon His holy head--
A crown of majesty He could have worn instead!
The cruel bruising reed had crushed it through His skin--
My evil-plaited deeds His diadem of sin
2. The thorns— I see them now— I should have worn, and bled!
My sins flowed down His brow in rivulets of red;
Each piercing point of pain produced a dying stream,
Until my Savior, slain, had died, in Love supreme.

3. Then break, O heart Divine, to set the Sufferer free,
And break, O heart of mine, in kindred agony;
If on our blood-stained world true Love was ever worn
It was the day our Lord was crowned with cruel thorn.

4. Awake, my astonished heart! Look earnestly within,
To scorn the evil art of every lesser sin!
A faithful heart I bring— exalt Your sovereignty;
I love You, O my King!— You wore those thorns for me.

Copyright 1998 by Stanley K. Brubaker / Brooksong LLC
__________________________________________

HymnCraft 101 (Critiques and Writing Tips)


ALLITERATION: holy head... deeds diadem... piercing point pain produced...
savior slain... set sufferer... [what do you think--is it too much?]
PARALLELISM: O heart Divine... O heart of mine...
CONTRAST: crown of majesty vs. crown of thorns... Him dying, instead of me dying...
GRAPHIC PICTURES: my evil deeds plaiting a thorn-crown for Him... my sins flowing down his brow... “our blood-stained world”...
STRONG WRITING: “Awake, my astonished heart!
STRONG WORDS: cruel, bruising, crushing, piercing, astonished, earnestly, scorn, exalt...
MY FAVORITE PASSAGE: first two lines of verse 3.
WEAKNESSES: same end rhyme for first two lines of verses 1 & 2... (partially redeemed by internal rhyme?)
too many exclamation points?
TAKE-AWAY THOUGHTS:
1. I should hate even the “smallest” sins...
2. I should have a lifetime WOW of appreciation...

If you have questions, or suggestive criticisms, or would like a Sibelius file or PDF file of the music, shoot me an email. I would love to hear from you. --Stan B.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Purpose of Blog

    Tips... Insights... Song-writing How-to... Critiques... Time-saving Methods... to help make YOU a joyful bard for the Lord.

    My best-known songs are probably "Lo, I Come"– composed before I was married– and "Teach Me, O Lord, to Number My Days" which you may have seen in various hymnals. I have many others trying to sneak out of their file folders, to join the march of music around the world.

    ​Some will be introduced here first as just lyrics, to study the crafting of their messages, others will have music mp3 files or videos also.

    Archives

    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    June 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    December 2014
    November 2014

    Categories

    All
    21 Songs & Hymns CD
    HymnCraft 101
    Music With Friends
    Song Videos
    TIPs & Techniques

    RSS Feed

Copyright Brooksong LLC